Deuce Bigalow's Gridiron Gigolo's  Don't make me he-bitch man-slap you! Your the best he-bitch in my man stable. If I had 2 more manginas like you, I'd be a millionaire. The "man-gina": it's a professional term we man-whores use to describe our he-pussy. There you go. That's uhh... $11.50. Season 11 Outlook: Head Coach: Mike Waz is returning for the 2cd consecutive season. In his first season he went 16-2 and did a fantastic job coming up 1 game short of the championship. The Gigolo's front office is pleased to bring him back!! Offense: Deuce's Squad came up a bit short in season 10, reaching the conference finals. After a couple off season changes, the Deuce's reloaded bringing in a new starting QB. Spencer Klukowski will have some big shoes to fill considering he is replacing a qb that threw 30 Td's and no interceptions. Back for his 2cd season, Vick the Return, again will make defenses look fuckin stupid. Vick the Return is coming off a season were he was Conference MVP and led the conference in rushing yards (4741) and touchdowns (81). As in season 10, both these QB's will be loaded with talent around them. Both starting receivers (Gloves O' Glue and Freak Move) return from last season along side with starting running back Bill&Ted’s Excellent Runningback, who finished 3rd in the conference in rushing (2486) and 2cd in touchdowns (55). The heart of the o-line remains from last season with both centers returning (1st and 2cd Amendment) and both starting guards ( Mr. Pink and Evil Pankake). Much need depth was added with the signings of Robert Vancuren (HB), Hou Yuanjia (WR), John Russo (WR) and 4 new O-Tackles. Defense: Once again, the defense is looking strong. Anchored by returning NT Burger 761-176 Beagle. With a huge off season signing Deuce's picked up DE Help Us All. With him and Rushin Attack to Getasack these two Bookend are sure to rack up some monster sack totals. The center of the defense is completely new with 5 new Linebackers on the squad. The front office is excited to bring in Middle Linebacker Ray Lewitschke from Vulgar Display of Power Wiiliam of Orange and Piet Hein round out the other 2 starters. In the secondary, the Gigolo's retain both starting corners UltimateCover CornerWarrior and KidpIcarus PiksuOff. Ultimatecover Cornerwarrior led the conference last season with 6 INT's and Kid was first with 86 pass deflections. As the last line of defense, Gigolo's signed 4 free agents at the safety spots and by the looks of things, C.C. Corlett and here comes the pain thats right, are not playing around already leveling up to lvl 30 and 27 respectively. The 2 free safeties are Frank You and Capppt'nn Americcaaa. Special Teams: Both Kickers (K: Vladamir Bootin and P: Warren Gamaliel Harding) return after a successful season 10. And after winning the Season 10 conference special teams MVP, Freak Move is set to repeat again after making some spectacular punt return TD's in Pre-Season. |
Vulgar Display of Power  The title of the Team is from a line in the 1973 film, The Exorcist. When Father Damien Karras asks Regan MacNeil (or the demon who possesses her) to break her own straps and release herself using her evil power, Regan replies 'that's much too vulgar a display of power' Vulgar Display of Power is said to have played a major role in defining GLB, speeding up the tempo and incorporating a harder-edged smashmouth kick-yo-ass style of football. Several seasons from this team have become some of GLB best known, such as "Fucking Hostile" (Season 9), Season 11 Outlook: Offense: With an active off season Vulgar Display expectations are higher than ever. With 3rd year returning QB Monday Quarterback at the helm, Vulger looks poised to make a run at the championship. With Big Brother team (Gridiron Panic) jumping to lvl34, a number of players moved over from that team. The biggest signing was HB Seedy Jeffreys. In the past 2 seasons with the Panic, Jeffreys has racked up more than 5000 rushing yards 150 receptions and 150 TD's. With him, and returning HB DeAngelo Williams, it could be a monumental season for these 2 backs. Also coming from the Panic roster is the badest muthafuckin receiver you will ever know, Willie Bloomquist. This cat in the past 2 seasons has over 2500 yards receiving and 45 touchdowns. His ability to run after the catch is sick. Along side him at the receiver position Vulgar brings back Skumahduh Urth and signs 3 more newcomers Gunner Dubya, Roland Morgado, and TheAfter Burner. Dubya is coming off a season in which he had 209 catches for 2345 yards and 11 TD's. Both TE's return Hawk Fu and Maxy Cannon, which are a major part of Vulgar's offense and they have added a new starter Hawg Bullitt. The O-line remains strong with Brutilius Maximilius bring back the 2cd most pancakes (334) from season 10. With the signing of 3 more former Panic players Stranger Danger!, Jim "Jimbo" Covert, Monster Magnet. Their experience at the level 31 league will most deff pay off. In the middle the Power has added 2 new centers Mister Cat and Satele Samson. Overall, it looks to be a high scoring and exciting year. Defense: On defense you have to start with the 3 DE's. Im Going To Get You Sucka! the raining season 10 Conference Defensive MVP is returning and looking to have another MVP season. Once again, the other 2 DE's coming over from Gridiron Panic are De' Shawn Burns and Doug Skillern. Burns, has racked up over 50 sacks the past 2 season with Panic and Skillern is bringing 18 total sacks with him. These 3 Amigo's look to be the best trio in the league. Rolando Remicheck, Danny Butkus, and Brian Mack solidify the d-line and free up spaces for the Linebackers. Vulgar brings back 3 Linebackers from last season, Hemans Damiddle, Jonathan Payne, and weiner in butt. Hemans 3rd down defense will play a major role again this season and Payne and butt's speed will remain a factor containing the outside run and on pass defense. The 3 newcomers are DeShawn Moses and 2 former Panic players Bobby Wilderson and Eddie Hansen. In the secondary Vulgar starts to new players, Never Loose and Liam Truffant. Both of these players are expected to make a huge impact shutting down the opposing starting receivers. Also in the secondary coming over from the Panic is donnie Special Teams: The Power brings in a new kicker for season 10, Da Waterboy. He also brings with him some high quality H2O. Returning at the Punter position is I Punt Real Good who did a great job last season. Returning kicks and punts will be veteran Mike Waz who has over 100 kick and punt return TD's with Gridiron Panic the last 2 seasons.
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Gridiron Panic 
The word panic is often applied to a strictly individual, maladaptive reaction of flight, immobility, or disorganization stemming from intense fear. For example, a GLB team “panics” during a game with the Gridiron Panic and is unable to call upon his knowledge in performing normal football skill, or a disaster victim in a situation of mild danger panics and flees into much greater danger. Individual panic frequently occurs as a unique individual response without triggering a similar reaction in others. Panic as collective behaviour, however, is shared behaviour. When an entire football team breaks into disorderly flight, a group pattern of orderly behaviour is replaced by a group pattern of panic. There are a number of distinguishing features to collective panic, four of which are noted here. First, several persons in social contact or a huddle with one another simultaneously exhibit intense fear and either flee (or demonstrate disorganization leading toward flight) or remain immobile. Second, each individual’s fear and his evaluation of the danger are augmented by the signals he receives from others. Third, flight is indicated as the only conceivable course of action by the signals each is receiving from others. Fourth, the usual rules according to which individuals adjust their behaviour so as not to work at cross-purposes are nullified. In the more dramatic instances of collective panic, people trample one another in vain efforts to reach the sidlines.
Season11 Outlook: Offense: The expectations for the Panic's offense seems to be higher than ever. Strapped with the coldest QB on GLB the Panic returns 3rd year starter Pretty Fly For A White Guy. This dude puts up crazy insane numbers. He has back-back 5,000 yard seasons and a 70% completion average with over 150 TD's to only 11 INT's. Season 10 saw Pretty Fly lead the conference in yards (5482) and TD's (50). This muthafucka's Laser Arm is ridiculous. In the backfield returns one of the most dynamic, shoulder shakin, ankle beakin half backs you'll see. Ignot Mooninite, returns for his 3rd season with the Panic and has averaged over 1200 yard and 50 receptions the past 2 seasons. With the loss of one time starter Speedy Jeffreys to Vulgar Display of Power the Panic hit the free agent market and landed the much sought after Chris Richmond. With over 7,500 rushing yards to his credit he brings speed, speed, and more speed to and already fuckin fast as shit backfield. These 2 backs are sure to cause a fuckload of Panic for opposing defenses. The Panic also returns 4 of 5 starters on the O-line. OT, Gunny Luria the only new starter looks to fit in nicely with Center Huey Freeman, Guards Matthew john and Tim"Picket" Fence and fellow OT Moth Monster. Much needed depth was also added with guards Brutal Metal and Dontrell Davis and Ot's Ordell Brasse and Pete Khilla. Also returning is back up Center and Long Snapper Olaf Kee. On the outside, the Panic front office was a bit worried with 3 of the 4 wr's from last season leaving, but managed to sign top free agents Rueban Randle, Evan Rude, and Jett Curtis. All 3 receivers’ posses a high I.Q. of the position and are ready for breakout seasons. The lone returner is Vicente Loza, which had a fantastic season last year considering he was the third option for Pretty Fly. Vicent had 71 catches for over 1000 yards and 10 TD's. 4 other newcomers to the team are FB's Dan Mahler and Barca Lounger along with 2 new TE's Dan Van Wyk and Lennon Darkblade, all to play major rolls in the Panic's success this season. Defense: The Panic returns 3 starters on the D-line. In the middle they return run stuffing NT Bryant Young and DT Deon Strong. On the ends Jullius Pippuri returns after having back-back 106 tackle seasons. He will again be playing a major role on special teams as well. The newcomers include starting Right DE Major McDevit, DT/NT Tommy "Big Baby" Richardson and newly acquired via trade DE The Fr0stedfl8ke, which had 6 tackles and 4 sacks in his first action with the Panic. In the middle of the defense MLB Kyle John returns for his 2cd season. His first saw him record over 90 tackles and 16 pass deflections. On the left of him, speedster Lamon Barrow joins him and on the right will be the well rounded Herbie Husker. Also joining the linebacker core is veteran Matt Groff and Askat Bursa. Both look to make impacts of the bench. And now we should move to the heart and soul of the Panic Defense, the secondary. Both returning cornerbacks are back, Deion Star and rob vancuren. Deion Star came to the Panic last season with buddy Deon Strong. Star became the Panic's number 1 db and recorded over 100 pass deflections giving him the 2cd most pass deflections in the conference. The 2cd DB rob vancuren or shall I say "I Love me some me" rob vancuren returns for his 3rd season. This dude's confidence is out of this world as it should be. He has led the conference in back-back season in interceptions racking up 12 in season 9 and 7 in season 10. He also posted 152 pass deflections for the top spot in season 9 and followed that up with 83 last season. These 2 corners are about as close to shut down as you will find. Joining them are 2 newcomers Heisman Woodson and TK Cucumbers. These 2 are expected to deliver in the nickel and dime package and the front office of the Panic, knows they will. As the last line of defense, the Panic return the Heavy Hitter SS Dirtysouth Balla. His resume consists of 3 straight 80 tackles seasons and a total of 8 interceptions. Balla is known for his monster hits and special teams play. Also returning is FS Cralzy Taps who had a solid season 10 with 65 tackles a 1 defensive touchdown. The new starter at SS this season will be Randy Lowe, aka the Total Package, which he has already been nicknamed by his teammates. And the already pre season playmaker FS Monster Kelley rounds out the back four. Special Teams: The Panic brings in a new kicker in this season, adding veteran Rafeal Septian #1 to the roster. His kicking abilities and strength will be much need this season. Retuning at punter for his 3rd straight season is Theodore Moseby. Mr. coffin corner has done a fantastic job in all 3 prior season with the 3 Team Dynasty. And last but not least, the Panic looked long and hard for the perfect return guy after Mike Waz left for Vulgar Display of Power, and they seem to have found their man in Dante " X Factor" Hall. This explosive returner has moves that no one has ever seen, he truly will be an X Factor for the Panic. |
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